he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
