hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i've created a new STD.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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