I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You can't motorboat a personality
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
