Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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