i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
