He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
