Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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