it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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