I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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