You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
