omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize