Porn is love you can see.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
