I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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