Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize