Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
