An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
