you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
a search helicopter?!
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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