What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize