sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize