So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
