a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
