Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
