Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
there was a trapeze. enough said
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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