playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
