I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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