Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
