The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
