I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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