I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
