im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
