so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
