week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
