No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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