it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just sent this text using only my big toe
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
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Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
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That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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