I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize