You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
