Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
