Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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