My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
