Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
