Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
