I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm really busy with my period
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