I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
