Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize