i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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