Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
