you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
