Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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