Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
