I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
