my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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