well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
